| Apr. 18th, 2005 @ 03:16 am (no subject) |
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Current Mood:  nauseated
all I want to do is graduate. and it doesn't even seem like thats all that easy to do right now. Don't get me wrong, my grades are fine, but i thought that people would understand that this is stressful for me and i don't need other added stress. I have bills and finances that i need to pay and have no money for, i have friends fighting with friends, family fighting with family, friends fighting with family, friends leaving that i don't have time to say goodbye too, exams, papers, apartment stuff that isn't finished and i'm suppose to be moving in by wednesday, and i just can't take any more of it.
People think that I'm a strong person, but i'm really not. I don't know how to put it any other way except that i feel like i'm falling apart. The only person i can really talk to lately without arguing is Kathy- and thats just because shes going through the same thing that I am, and we're just to buisy crying from stress to argue about anything. i honestly don't know how much more of this i can take. I need support, not people telling me what i'm doing wrong, and how they would do things differently, and just things that could wait until after i graduate and get settled to tell me. If there is any time in my life that I feel like i'm getting depressed--------- its now. nope, not embarassed to say it. frankly, i just don't give a shit. I have so much stuff to deal with that i just wanna say fuck it, and not deal with any of it. and everytime i try to talk to people about it they always try to 'fix' the situation or give me their imput, or somehow i end up in an argument. when did it happen that people quit listening? if i wanted an opinion, i'd ask for it. if i don't....... then just listen! and i don't need to be hearing about how my life is so fucked up in so many ways. DON"T U THINK I KNOW THAT? if its fucked up enough for you to notice and say something about it, do you think i'm nieve enough to not see it as well?? i don't need other people pointing it out to me, it doesn't make my situation any easier nor better.
anyways, enough ranting and raging. i should be sleeping- or at least studying, but i'm jsut to frustrated to do anything other than sit here and putt around on live journal.
what the fuck am i going to do? and when will people just learn to listen so i can get everything off of my chest? |
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